The Word is Jesi
Stephen Colbert. The Colbert Report. What a man and what a show. Don't mess with him, otherwise you'll be put On Notice or be Dead to Him/Me. Harsh penalties indeed. The mighty Dead To Me Board is seen at left.
But every episode, Colbert likes to infotain his audience, a combination of information and entertainment, in a segment that is known throughout existence as the Word.
Today, the word is Jesi. The comments in brackets below are from the Word Board, as seen at left, where the 2005 Word of the Year coined by Colbert, truthiness, is holding court. Various witty remarks pop up as Stephen discusses his talking points, sometimes supporting, often mocking. Take it away Stephen.
Stephen: ...which brings us to tonight's Word: Jesi. As in more than one Jesus. (If Only) This month Kanye West went on the cover of Rolling Stone sporting a crown of thorns. I can't imagine anything more offensive to Christians. (Maybe Darfur?) Why can’t magazine be tasteful? Like the Newsweek cover with Jim Caviezel. People didn't complain about that. (Except a certain chosen people)
Last week NBC cancelled The Book of Daniel thanks the efforts of the powerful Christian lobbying group Focus on the Family headed by James Dobson. That show had Jesus hanging out with an Episcopal priest who has a gay son and a pothead daughter, plus, he's always getting high. The priest, not Jesus. (Jesus high on omnipotence)With so many Jesi out there, Satan is clearly trying to confuse us. Just like when He put those dinosaur bones in the ground. (Hoax-asaurus Rex)
How do you tell a good Jesus from a bad Jesus? Well history teaches us if there's more than one of any character, the bad one has a goatee. (Picture of mirror Spock) In the case of women she's a brunette and she clearly puts out. But with Jesi it’s harder. Let me put two pictures up here and you tell me which on is the good Jesus. (Jesus from South Park, or Aslan from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe) If you picked the one that walks on two feet and does not have razor sharp retractable claws, you are wrong. Evidently opposable thumbs do not a Jesus make. (Raccoons have 'em)
Here’s how I tell. When I'm confronted with a media portrayal of Jesus, I always ask myself: What would James Dobson Do? (WWJDD) Let’s take for example parenting. In his book Dare to Discipline, Dobson writes: "Pain is a marvelous purifier... it is not necessary to beat the child into submission; a little bit of pain goes a long way for a young child. However, the spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely." So you know it’s the real Jesus if you see Him striking a child, or better yet, funneling contributions to Republican candidates. However, if the Jesus in question is tolerant of others beliefs, (Too "forgive-y") if He criticizes the church, (Jesus: Pro-Pharisee) hangs out with tax collectors, (Make the cuts permanent!) and turns the other cheek, (Instead of spanking lower cheek) well that is the bad Jesus, or at least the bad Dobson. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference between those two.
And that’s the Word.
posted by Mr Sensitive @ 12:39 PM
8 Comments:
MJP, can I just say tone down the whining and the faux indignation. Discussion is not just a one-way street, it can't just flow in one desirable way, then stop when it goes in a direction one doesn't want to go. You can't act one way gleefully, then say barleys and pull a Cartmanesque 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.'
The fact of the matter is that this ain't the flock. Things you say might not get challenged elsewhere, but will here if any statements by yourself or viewpoints need to be unpacked or explained. And this is a spirit that you've engaged in yourself, more animatedly than anyone else! So no bottom lip dropping if someone calls you on what you say.
Yes I did think you're points were refuted (so much so that you'd just move onto other tangents than pushing what you'd previosuly been spruiking, rather than debating what had been written in reply. If that's not a refuting of points, in that you're not willing to talk about them more, then what is?) and if you read what I wrote rather than what you imagined I wrote, it was : And the stuff he posted only works/adds meaning from a certain point of view (meaning Christian), by defacto thereby being useless and nigh on incomprehensible gibberish if you don't swing that way
This means it is incomprehensible gibberish to someone who is not schooled in it, it doesn't transcend it's Christian origins to be universally applicable, like the selected quotations from Osiris did/do. Your 'pick up a bible, then' response proves my point. If someone not schooled in the Christian thought can't just pick up the ideas without having to refer back to the dogma, ritual and rhetoric, then what's the use of it? It should have practical use to people in their lives, not intwined with a whole raft of other things and the ideology, such as special feasts, sermons, abortion and so on.
Look, everyone respects your faith, but they don't respect it, or rather you, when you push it/enforce it on others, then backtrack when people won't just lie down and accept it. I think you'll find that everyone has been more than accomodating in hearing you out and letting you go on. I can't say the same about the reverse, and that's a pity that you repay tolerance with passive aggressive hostility.
On a related note to that, I'm quite disappointed with your seemingly homophobic comments above. Now I'm sure you'll argue no they're not, but when we take terms such as "tasting sweeter in the mouth"... Unfortunately, the truth is not easy to swollow, the words do really say it all. Incidentally, it's swallow. Even if they're not knowingly homo-phobic, the phallic-tinged imagery of the comments would seem to indicate otherwise and seem more precisely utilised then just thrown in there for arguements sake.
I unfortunately can count on more than one hand the number of times I have opened a bible, mainly because I regret and resent that time being wasted for me in school by going over that, than what I would regard as more valid and necessary in education, such as Shakespeare and literature and the like. Middle Eastern folk tales don't do that much for me: I don't get all juiced about it, it's just one of the countless myths and mythologies that have come and gone. I'm sure I express some Christian qualities, hurrah, but I'd say that's less of a result of those qualities being particularly Christian, rather that they are universal qualities. Or to put it another way, when you can see,then why follow the blind?
But it is true. At least I believe it with all my heart to be true.
Well that's nice. But there's a difference between something being true and believing something to be true. That sounds an awful lot like truthiness my friend. It seems you and Stephen Colbert have more in common than you thought. If you're going to argue something, you need a stronger leg to stand on then that you 'believe' it to be true. I believe aliens to be true, but if I want to argue that point I have to be prepared with counter arguements and the like, even though in my mind it is true, because I believe it.
It's not enough just to say you believe it, that's that, when you're debating the point against others. You must not only point to the text, but express what it means, what it's saying in relation to the points being talked about and so on. "And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.
" doesn't mean much if you don't unpack it and explain it's meaning. Does that mean I shake myself of the dust that is you because you do not hear or receive my words? It's a very dim and cynical view that the the only people who are worth listening to are believers. Because everyone is the same obviously, or they should be, and there's absolutely nothing whatsoever to learn from different points of view, because they are obviously wrong, because I belive I'm right and that they are wrong. I thought we overcome this line of thought back in the 1700/1800's, but it looks like there's been a devolution since.
Now none of this is in a hostile manner, rather it's being blunt and straight-forward. So please, no more crocodile tears, because you are not being persecuted, you're being challenged in what you are expressing. If you can't handle that, then by all means, never bring anything up again. Because if you don't want the same standards to apply to yourself, that is not going to happen, so it would be best to bite your tongue, as I have done many, many a time.
I might go over your comments again a bit later, because there are bits that I think once they are unpacked are interesting lines of thought and discussions.
Guide to Blazing
VI. If it's agreed you all watch a film or something, don't be inconsiderate and yarn shit to people, they're trying to watch a movie for fuck's sake! They don't wanna listen to you talk about 'that time you nearly shagged Mary but you had such a huge dick she couldn't fit it...' besides, it's probably bollocks anyway.
Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?
I don't know about the Son of God, but Superman could, with his heat vision.
Advantage Last Son of Krypton in the battle of the Sun Deities.
Benjamin Creme
The Curious Mr Creme
http://rigorousintuition.blogspot.com/2005/03/day-of-declaration.html
http://rigorousintuition.blogspot.com/2005/03/day-of-declaration.html
Something worth remembering about Luciferians. It may sound backwards and inside-out, given the dark manifestations of their philosophy and magickal workings, but they are essentially cockeyed optimists. They believe they are bringing light to the world, not darkness, and that humanity has a capacity for illumination far beyond that admitted by major religions.
They think they're the good guys. They think they are saving the world.
Benjamin Creme told Sean David Morton that "Hitler was a very high spiritual master," and conceded only after prodding from Morton that his "power may have been 'misused.'"
Ok, I'll bite.
Is Lord Maitreya one of these bad Jesi that Colbert warned us about? He has a beard as well!!1! Stephen was right!!!
I see your Bad Jesi anonymous and raise you by a Good Jesi, Superman, Kal-El, the Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton. http://members.tripod.com/~MitchellBrown/xover/dc_onemillion.html
Stuff. In. Pipe. And. Smoke. It. Son.
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